[Gemma Hartley] ebook Fed Up Emotional Labor Women and the Way Forward read

Gemma Hartley é 5 review

From Gemma Hartley the journalist who ignited a national conversation on emotional labor comes Fed Up a bold dive into the unpaid invisible work women have shouldered for too long and an impassioned vision for creating a better future for us allDay in day out women anticipate and manage the needs of others In relationships we initiate the hard conversations At home we shoulder the mental load reuired to keep our households running At work we moderate our tone explaining patiently and speaking softly In the world we step gingerly to keep ourselves safe We do this largely invisible draining work whether we. My husband does a lot He helps me out with the housework he takes care of our children if I will be out he will do anything I ask him to Personally I think I m pretty lucky In response to praise such as this author Gemma Hartley asks Does he do a lot compared to other men or does he do a lot compared to you Emotional labor is the invisible job handed down to women of every generation to make sure the days run smoothly the household is efficiently managed and everyone is happy and not inconvenienced It s the mental energy spent on managing and micromanaging all without rocking the boat Hartley suggests that if women want help with this extra load the options generally are Do it alone be a nag or let it go and any help that may be offered is met with the expectation of resounding gratefulness After all they re doing us a favor It s our job Even when it s their house too Their children too Their life too Note I am very fortunate in my partnership at home to have a spouse who shares home responsibilities Thank you honey for being my beautiful rarity xoxoIn Fed Up Emotional Labor Women and the Way Forward Hartley gives personal examples from her household but also discusses how emotional labor has followed women into the workplace which I can personally attest to I ve had work positions in which the phone for our team was placed on my desk I was the woman the subliminal secretary Committee assignments for female employees were themed with in office morale improvement and potluckbirthday celebrations versus males who were assigned to out of office opportunities where networking could occuropportunity I could go on So could Hartley and she does Women aren t fed up because we expect too much We re fed up because we re told we shouldn t expect anything at all We should just let it go as if it were so easy As if our work were so easily disposable Hartley suggests that all the dots connect to the underlying theme of undervaluing the work of women Hartley does a good job of pointing out the imbalance and how it hurts everyone It s not only a heterosexual issue but it is a patriarchal issue and when women accept this extra load without contradiction when we continue to train the next generation to do the same we naturally create a barrier for men and enable it to continue With honesty she documents the results of her personal attempts at finding balance at home and it s clear that finding a solution will reuire much trial and error but it s worth it because we re worth it It starts with books like this that raise awareness and inspire dialogue Insightful reading materialMy favorite uote It s OK to want Matthews Choice you Emotional labor is the invisible job handed down to women of every generation to make sure the days run smoothly the household is efficiently managed and everyone is happy and not inconvenienced It s the mental energy spent on managing and micromanaging all without rocking the boat Hartley suggests that if women want help with this extra load the options generally are Do it alone be a nag or let it go and any help that may be offered is met with the expectation of resounding gratefulness After all they re doing us a favor It s our job Even when it s their house too Their children too Their life too Note I am very fortunate in my partnership at home to have a spouse who shares home responsibilities Thank The Prince of Pleasure (The Wilde Brothers, you honey for being my beautiful rarity xoxoIn Fed Up Emotional Labor Women and the Way Forward Hartley gives personal examples from her household but also discusses how emotional labor has followed women into the workplace which I can personally attest to I ve had work positions in which the phone for our team was placed on my desk I was the woman the subliminal secretary Committee assignments for female employees were themed with in office morale improvement and potluckbirthday celebrations versus males who were assigned to out of office opportunities where networking could occuropportunity I could go on So could Hartley and she does Women aren t fed up because we expect too much We re fed up because we re told we shouldn t expect anything at all We should just let it go as if it were so easy As if our work were so easily disposable Hartley suggests that all the dots connect to the underlying theme of undervaluing the work of women Hartley does a good job of pointing out the imbalance and how it hurts everyone It s not only a heterosexual issue but it is a patriarchal issue and when women accept this extra load without contradiction when we continue to train the next generation to do the same we naturally create a barrier for men and enable it to continue With honesty she documents the results of her personal attempts at finding balance at home and it s clear that finding a solution will reuire much trial and error but it s worth it because we re worth it It starts with books like this that raise awareness and inspire dialogue Insightful reading materialMy favorite uote It s OK to want

Summary Fed Up Emotional Labor Women and the Way Forward

Fed Up Emotional Labor Women and the Way Forward

E than just name the problem though Hartley teases apart the cultural messaging that has led us here and asks how we can shift the load Rejecting easy solutions that don’t ultimately move the needle Hartley offers a nuanced insightful guide to striking real balance for true partnership in every aspect of our lives Reframing emotional labor not as a problem to be overcome but as a genderless virtue men and women can all learn to channel in our uest to make a better egalitarian world Fed Up is surprising intelligent and empathetic essential reading for every woman who has had enough with feeling fed up . Necessary I d like to see this be reuired feminist reading Gemma tackles The hard stuff here with insight and intellect Next step CHANGE

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Want to or not and we never clock out No wonder women everywhere are overtaxed exhausted and simply fed upIn her ultra viral article “Women Aren’t Nags We’re Just Fed Up” shared by millions of readers Gemma Hartley gave much needed voice to the frustration and anger experienced by countless women Now in Fed Up Hartley expands outward from the everyday frustrations of performing thankless emotional labor to illuminate how the expectation to do this work in all arenas private and public fuels gender ineuality limits our opportunities steals our time and adversely affects the uality of our livesMor. Let me start out by saying that Hartley ain t wrongSecondly my credentials I am a stay at home dad I do much of the schedules maintaining shopping lists remembering to set up the kiddos doctor s appointments then setting them up then taking the kids to them and so on I do the stuff Hartley is talking about It s not easy I don t do 100% of it but let s get to that in a momentThe biggest gap in Hartley s book is this while she characterizes as emotional labor pretty much everything women do and declares it invisible she is notably silent on the similar work that men do It is as if this work is well invisible to herAt one point she is interviewing another woman talking about that woman s emotional labor and into the conversation as an aside we see that the interviewee is happy to let her husband take care of the insuranceThis is telling Hartley believes that remembering the birthday present for the party is ualitatively different from buying insurance That it is emotional labor whereas acuiring insurance is something else Something easier Buying insurance isn t easier It involves much of what looks a whole lot like emotional labor as defined by Hartley There are phone calls comparisons complex and emotionally charged decisions to make and then there are payments to be remembered to be madeI will use man stuff and women stuff to refer to traditional gendered jobs and trust me I know what a ridiculous breakdown that isAs a dad who does a blend of man stuff and women stuff I can assure you that the gestalt of work around say coping with a leaking roof is not that different from the gestalt of stuff around getting Susie to her friend s birthday party with a present a suitable costume and the signed waiver for Trampoline Zone I have done both But to Hartley the leaking roof the car that needs an oil change the life insurance policy that needs to be updated the house that needs to be painted next year at the latest these things are not emotional labor and therefore are basically easy work Hartley is too busy telling us about how her work is undervalued to value that work or even let us be honest mention itI can state uneuivocally that the man stuff involved in running a house is modestly easier than the woman stuff It typically comes in large painful bites but when you re done you re done and there is a sense of accomplishment and completion in a way that there is not when dealing with many of the traditionally female work Laundry never ends Maintaining the grocery list and the schedule of which child needs to be where with what stuff never ends These are real ualitative differencesBut there are also many similarities between the roles there is much of what Hartley would call emotional labor in the life of Ward Cleaver June Cleaver has no monopoly on emotional labor it turns out Hartley just can t see itSeparately I find myself puzzled by Hartley s descriptions of her husband On the one hand she praises him endlessly recognizing him as so much better by her lights then other husbands On the other hand when it comes to actually telling specific details of his life he comes across as a doltish man child Is this guy real Are these stories real Are they composites Are they outright fictional Is Rob a doltish man child or a great guy I can t tell and the whole narrative refuses to reveal him to meUltimately I have to agree the book is just a magazine essay fluffed up to book size by endless repetition of kind of muddled materialIt s not wrong though Hartley is right there is work here and it is hard and we don t really appreciate it fully


10 thoughts on “Fed Up Emotional Labor Women and the Way Forward

  1. says:

    2½ starsWhen I first saw the main title of this book those two words Fed Up before I even knew what the book was about I thought of my mum I pictured her juggling the wants and needs of three kids after a day of work arms full of laundry that she would load into the machine in between making us dinner I remembered distinctly the way she sometimes would find a rare moment to sit down and say with a tired sigh

  2. says:

    My husband does a lot He helps me out with the housework he takes care of our children if I will be out he will do anything I ask him to Personally I think I'm pretty lucky In response to praise such as this author Gemma Hartley asks “Does he do a lot compared to other men or does he do a lot compared to you?” Emotional labor

  3. says:

    Cathartic af you guys To be honest you can probably get the point and a measure of the release you might need on this topic from reading the

  4. says:

    I was expecting a researched book given what a fascinating and dense topic this is I understand why the author would've wanted to insert her personal experience at times but she did so to such an extent that the end result felt closer to a memoir Ultimately 'Fed Up' left me with uestions than answers

  5. says:

    Let me start out by saying that Hartley ain't wrongSecondly my credentials I am a stay at home dad I do much of the schedules maintaining shop

  6. says:

    Oof Stretching an essay that went viral to an entire book was a bit too ambitious for this one I felt half of the book was just repeating itself we get it dadshusbands don’t clean or take care of kids as much as women do no need t

  7. says:

    Man this book sucked I was so ready as this is a very important topic within feminism but she uoted Sheryl Sandberg in the opening chapter and

  8. says:

    It’s been a long time since I haven’t finished a book This one was a shame I was really interested in the topic of women’s emotional labour but thought the author had real problems expanding an article she wrote for Harper’s Bazaar into a book There’s some interesting information on a surface level but it’s very repetitive an unea

  9. says:

    Necessary I’d like to see this be reuired feminist reading Gemma tackles The hard stuff here with insight and intellect Next step CHANGE

  10. says:

    I was excited to read this book because the blog post that had led to this book being written resonated so strongly with me I read it in a day

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